I am writing to you from my deck, warm in the sunshine and in full view of the last of summer. September is here, and the wind is once again changing.
I’ve been thinking recently of an afternoon a little later in the fall several years back. It was before my husband and I had kids and I was joining him on a photography assignment.
My husband was hired to photograph a classic airplane, a 1933 Stinson (yes, the year 1933!!!) in flight. As a specialist in air-to-air photography this was not a big deal at all to him, but this felt like a pretty big deal to me, as a passenger in the Stinson.
The pilot, mechanic and restorer of the airplane was a typical Alaskan blend of character, humor and a questionable but highly interesting background. As we started taxiing on the lake prior to takeoff he took the time to secure his cell phone in a zip lock bag and adjust his life jacket.
“You know, just in case we end up upside down”. He then proceeded to tell me about the guy who did end up upside down in the lake LAST WEEK. As he made some final adjustments to the life vest and ziplock bag he gave me a little grin and quipped “Safety first!” as he pulled back on the throttle.
Not the most reassuring words to come from the pilot of your small airplane…the one built in 1933.
Soon, though we had made it across the water and we were flying right through the mountains, over glaciers and looking at the ocean in the distance.
As we came particularly close to some snow-covered peaks the plane started jumping and shaking.
“We better get out of here. I don’t like this at all. This thing is only made out of sticks and covered with fabric, you know.”
No. Actually, I didn’t know.
But that did not sound so great.
And so, I spent the next hour simultaneously sure we were going to die - AND breathing into my belly and expanding my lungs. I breathed out completely, giving my body the message that despite it all, we were, in fact, safe in this moment. And that I was pretty sure that my life as I knew it was indeed not going to end that sunny afternoon.
Because it was absolutely priceless and I sure as heck did not want to miss it.
We are being called to feel our vulnerability in a way that we have spent our entire lifetime hoping to avoid. The amazing thing is, we can open through our vulnerability into unlimited amounts of joy as we finally relax into the true safety, love and belonging that is our birthright.
What we are likely to find is that the view from this precarious and vulnerable place is intensely beautiful. It is beckoning us to wake up and be present, so we don’t miss a thing, despite the risk.
Or maybe precisely BECAUSE of the risk.
Because we know that every day matters. That the many small interactions that we are having with our kids and our families are adding up to our life experience. And to THEIR life experience. The environment we are creating for our kids is creating their brains (literally- wiring their brains - affecting their genes (and our own!).
Do we want to freak out, dissociate, act out, panic, go numb, lock down and try harder to control everything in our uncontrollable worlds?
Do we want to say ‘this isn’t so bad’, we shouldn’t feel the way we feel, chew our gum a little harder and silently rehearse our own funeral as we blindly stare out the window?
OR - do we want to take some deep breaths, send our deepest selves the message that everything we feel is okay – that life is incredibly frightening, but in this moment we are safe, we are loved, we are deeply okay, we are fully supported.
So that WE can be the one that OUR KIDS can look to for reassurance.
Because deep down inside we are calm, we are connected to something larger than ourselves.
To a bigger love.
Our hearts and brains are in coherence - both knowing that we are safe, we are loved, and we truly do belong just as we are.
I would 100% not be where I am today without ALL the guidance I have received and the amount I have INVESTED in myself in coaching and community…the amount that I continue to invest in my growth, in my moving through and freeing myself from the pain of my past that I have dragged into the present moment.
I have a few spots open in my group coaching program that is opening September 12. During our time together, you will learn to create a deep seated sense of security, open your heart to love in a big big way and bask in belonging to your beautiful family.
This means you will take huge strides in leaving behind your anxiety and depression, restore your depleted reserves and tap into more energy than you ever remember having. You'll improve your relationships with your kids, partners, friends and family (even if they don't change one bit).
I will be with you (along with a community of others) to HOLD YOUR HAND as you get your bearings in this big wide sky.
No matter where you are at right now, please know that you are whole, you are loved and that a deeper peace and knowing is available to you. Right this very minute.
Click HERE to schedule a call to see if this is a good fit for you.
Stephanie Dickerson, LMT